


cathartic

by crytalstellar



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 19:46:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13348233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crytalstellar/pseuds/crytalstellar
Summary: they say crying is cathartic.and a shoulder to cry on is comforting.





	cathartic

**Author's Note:**

> so i have at least four other things i SHOULD be working on but i've been having a rough couple of nights so i wrote this rather self-indulgent piece to make myself feel better. if you're also having a rough time, i hope that if you read this, it helps you feel better as well.
> 
> it's not really related but i was listening to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44ngldqWxdg) on repeat while writing this. you can think of the feelings in this as similar to what saeran feels in the fic? i guess... lol.

You’ve always liked the night. There’s a certain peace in the stillness of the night that you can’t seem to achieve in the day.

But at the same time, nighttime is when you fell at your most vulnerable.

The darkest of thoughts can come, sneakily instilling feelings of anxiety and self-doubt that you can usually ignore during the hustle and bustle of the day time. Sometimes you can just sleep it off and wake up the next morning, refreshed and rid of those nasty feelings. Other times, they’ll linger, lurking in the back of your mind, waiting for another moment of weakness to spring forth and try and swallow you whole.

Late one night, those thoughts slip out from  the corners of your mind, cruel and merciless as they envelop your entire being with a sense of despair.

You’re stupid.

You’re worthless.

No one actually likes you; at the end of the day you’ll just be all alone.

The thoughts swirl around in your mind, getting louder and louder, silencing every other thought. Your chest begins to ache and you bury yourself beneath the covers, unable to stop the tears from bursting forth. You desperately reach for one of your pillows, pulling it close to muffle your sobs.

Then you cry, and cry, and cry.

Every time you think you might be done, that you might have finally run out of tears, a new wave overtakes you, beginning the cycle once more. You cling to the pillow, weeping uncontrollably into it.

Then, suddenly you hear the creak of the door and hastily reach up to wipe your tears away as you sit up. Then you turn your attention to the intruder. In the darkness, you can make out Saeran staring at you, his expression indecipherable like always.

“Wh-what?” you ask, trying to sound annoyed, but due to your current condition it sounds more like a whine. “D-don’t you know how to knock?”

He doesn’t answer and you shift, feeling a little uncomfortable. Did he hear you crying from the hallway? How embarrassing. You thought the pillow had been enough to muffle the sound but clearly not. You make the effort to look as if you hadn’t just been crying though.

“I-if it’s not important then, talk to me in the morning,” you grumble, trying to get him to leave. “It’s the middle of the night, you know.”

Saeran frowns. Then, after a beat he strides over to you and plops himself in front of you on the bed.

“Wh-what are you-?” you begin but stop when Saeran reaches over and yanks you toward him with one arm, burying your face in his chest. You try to pull away from him, but he uses his other arm to hold you against him.

“…if you want to cry, then cry,” he says in a gruff, but quiet voice.

You freeze. He did notice then. But you don’t want to cry in front of him. Saeran sighs and starts to stroke your head. There’s something about this awkward action that causes a tremor in your heart, and try as you might to stop it, a strangled cry escapes you. Then another. And another. You reach around and clutch at the back of Saeran’s shirt, trying to anchor yourself as the sobs relentlessly rack your entire being.

Saeran doesn’t say anything though. No asking what’s wrong. No words of comfort. Nothing. He just continues to hold you in that awkward, yet gentle embrace of his. His fingers tenderly run through your hair, and you find solace in that action alone.

After what seems like forever, your cries begin to slow, your body finally exhausting itself of all the tears it had bottled up. When you finally stop, you expect Saeran to immediately pull away.

But he doesn’t.

“Saeran…” you breathe softly.

“…why…” he finally asks despite the obvious hesitation in his voice. “…why were you crying?”

You start to pull away from him, but don’t answer. Part of you thought he wasn’t going to ask. Part of you hoped that he wouldn’t. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see him staring at you, actually looking mildly concerned.

“I…” you wonder where to begin, or to even answer. “I… just felt like crying.”

“….liar.”

You don’t even bother to argue with him. You probably couldn’t convince him otherwise, at least not in this condition. “I… just…”

Unable to actually say the words aloud you reach up and bury your face in your hands. “…please… just leave me alone, Saeran. Forget you saw me like this.”

He doesn’t say anything and you feel the bed shift as he gets up. Then, a moment later, you hear the door shut softly. Slowly, almost fearfully, you look up.

He’s gone.

Saeran really left.

You shouldn’t be surprised when you told him to leave but at the same time part of you hoped he would have stayed. Your heart squeezes painfully in your chest, yet feels empty at the same time. A brand new set of tears prickle at the edge of your eyes. You don’t have it in you to cry out any more, so the tears slide down your face silently one after the other.

The thoughts were right.

In the end, you’ll always be alone.

Why would you think any differently? Because he heard you crying? Because, even though it was brief, he gave you somewhere to cry?

How stupid could you get?

Then, something cold suddenly touches your cheek and you jump a little. You look up, surprised to see Saeran came back. He’s holding whatever is touching your cheek and you reach up to take it. You recognize it instantly. It’s the pint of limited edition ice cream he’d convinced you to buy a few days ago.

“…this is…” you start, in an incredulous tone.

“Eat it,” he commands holding a spoon out toward you.

“But…” This is _his_  special ice cream. He had made it perfectly clear when you bought it that he wasn’t going to share with anyone so, why…

Saeran takes the pint back from you and pops the top off. He scoops a spoonful of ice cream out and holds it out toward you. “Eat it!”

You stare at the biteful, confused and a bit embarrassed. What in the world is he trying to do?

Unable to wait any longer, Saeran shoves the spoon in your mouth. You let out a surprised squeak as the cold ice cream suddenly enters your mouth. At this point you have no choice, but to eat it. When Saeran pulls the spoon back, he looks pleased that you actually ate it. He’s about to scoop some more but you speak, stopping him.

“….what are you trying to accomplish here?” you demand, bewildered by his strange behavior.

“…I’m… not good with words,” he admits quietly, sullenly looking at the ice cream. “…especially not the ones that… I think you need to hear right now.”

“…I’m not like Saeyoung… I’m not good at making people laugh…” He shifts a little, seeming uncomfortable. “…and… I don’t want to see you cry.”

Oh. You look at the ice cream. Saeran couldn’t think of the words to say to soothe you, so he left to try and do something to comfort you in his own way odd as it may be. This realization shines through the dark murky feelings like a beacon of hope. 

“I see… Thank you,” you mumble softly. He can be a bit prickly at times, but right now this act of kindness means more to you than he may ever know.

Saeran continues to watch you and you can see some kind of conflict reflected in his eyes. Then, in an unsure tone, he repeats his question from earlier, “…why were you crying?”

You take a deep breath. You’re still unsure of admitting anything to him, but he’s made the effort to try and comfort you, so you at least owe him this much, “…because I’m afraid.”

Saeran listens silently as you list off each and every fear that’s been plaguing you. By the time you get close to done, you feel another wave of tears threatening to spill from your eyes. “…most of all, I’m afraid that in the end, I’ll be alone.”

After your final confession, Saeran places the nearly forgotten pint of ice cream on your bedside table. Hesitantly, he reaches up and touches your cheek. His fingers are cold from holding the ice cream, but there’s still a certain warmth behind his actions, “You won’t be alone.”

You blink rapidly, unsure of what he means.

“I…” he gulps and takes a deep breath. “I’ll be here for you.”

When he speaks a single tear slides down your cheek, but he thumbs it away.

“You will?” you breathe.

Saeran gazes at you meaningfully and slowly nods his head, “I will.”

**Author's Note:**

> admittedly, i had a bit of a hard time thinking of how saeran would comfort someone (as opposed to seven). i hope that you guys liked my take, lol. though... as it has been a trend in some of my recent saeran fics, there's ice cream. though sweets can help someone feel better so it's not a bad idea, right?
> 
> thanks for reading. :)


End file.
